新規事業に必要な資金とその調達方法について説明しよう

Fund Raising.
あなたは新規事業に必要な資金とその調達方法について説明しています。
新規事業のために新たな資金が必要な場合、借り入れをしたり、上場企業であれば株式や債券を発行してまかなうことが多いでしょう。それぞれの資本コストやその他のメリット・デメリットを明示するなど、聞き手が納得できる説明をできるようになりましょう。
What do you think about the amount of funds necessary for the new business venture and the means of procuring such funds?
 
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What do you think about the amount of funds necessary for the new business venture and the means of procuring such funds?

I think we need to collect $60 million, so my proposal is more than my boss's because we should apply for the license of the national securities exchange. Then, our company gets an income of more than $10 million per year, so our business gets an advantage. Next, I think that the best method of procuring is crowdfunding because we can get the synergy effect. Big companies would like to invest in our business because they can reduce the cost of maintenance innovatively if our business succeeds. Moreover, tax reform occurred this year and a venture investment deduction is applied.

自然な表現

I think we need to collect $60 million, so my proposal is higher than my boss's because we should apply for the license of the national securities exchange. Then, our company gets an income of more than $10 million per year, so our business gets an advantage. Next, I think that the best method of procuring is crowdfunding because we can get the synergy effect. Big companies would like to invest in our business because they can reduce the cost of maintenance innovatively if our business succeeds. Moreover, tax reform occurred this year and a venture investment deduction is applied.

1. 'higher' is a word choice that fits the context here
Thank you very much for your suggestions. Do you think that it is a good idea to utilize the social media platforms for crowdfunding?

I think so. America is best because America passed a new law and our business gets advantages. At first, we should get cooperation from more than 100 companies. For it, we should take the following three actions. First, we contact 5 companies per day and we explain our business. Second, we improve our product. In detail, we need to increase the depositing options. Now, we accept only dollars but we need to accept bitcoin and other currencies. Third, we get a "bit-license". "Bit-license" is important because we can buy and sell to NewYork citizens, so we can approach many customers.

自然な表現

I think so. America is best because America passed a new law and our business gets advantages. At first, we should get cooperation from more than 100 companies. For it, we should take the following three actions. First, we contact 5 companies per day and we explain our business. Second, we improve our product. In detail, we need to increase the depositing options. Now, we accept only dollars but we need to accept bitcoin and other currencies. Third, we get a "bit-license". "Bit-license" is important because we can buy and sell to New York citizens, so we can approach many customers.

1. 'New York' is two separate words
Thank you for sharing those ideas that you have. What do you think about including individual investors?

I would say when we include individual investors, should make some presentation. I'd like to talk about this part, so you will prepare the presentation slides. Please consider the presentation time. In detail, how long can you talk to people? I think you can answer every question because you have searched for news every day for two years. Therefore, I think you don't need help from others.

自然な表現

I would say when we include individual investors, we should make some presentations. I'd like to talk about this part, so you will prepare the presentation slides. Please consider the presentation time. In detail, how long can you talk to people? I think you can answer every question because you have searched for news every day for two years. Therefore, I think you don't need help from others.

1. you need a subject to which 'should' would refer
2. use a plural noun after 'some' if the noun is countable
I understand. Including individual investors can work. What are we going to offer the investors in return? There is a need to include that in the presentation.

This is your part to consider, honestly.

自然な表現

With all due respect, this is your part to consider. 

1. 'With all due respect' is used as a polite formula preceding and intended to mitigate the effect of, an expression of disagreement or criticism. What you wrote is also ok
  • business plan(事業計画)
  • put one's money down(資金を投じる)
  • quote(見積もり)
  • deal(取引)
  • means(手段)
  • We need at least $3 million to start the new business venture.(新規事業には最低でも3万ドル必要です。)
  • Many investment companies are considering investing in us.(多くの投資会社が我々への投資を考えています。)
  • In order to attract investment, we need to rethink the design and packaging of our products. (投資を受けるために、製品のデザインとパッケージを考え直す必要があります。)
  • We have connections with several investment firms that are looking to invest in new services.(私たちは新しいサービスへの出資を考えている複数の投資会社と繋がりがあります。)
  • Our products are unmatched in their quality and versatility.(私たちの製品は、その品質と汎用性において他に類を見ません。)

こんな方にオススメ

  • ビジネス
  • 上級
  • 金融業界
  • 経理・財務業務