Speaking Independent Q4

Speaking Independent Q4
You will now be asked to give your opinion about a familiar topic. Give yourself 15 seconds to prepare your response and then write around 130 words that you will use to speak for 45 seconds.
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Nowadays, mobile phones are everywhere and many people from all ages have one, even students. Some see phones as a distraction, while others think that students need phones in case of an emergency. What do you think? Should students be allowed to bring phones to class? Explain your answer by providing details and examples.

I don't think smartphones should be brought into school. School is a place to learn. School is a place where you can enjoy spending time with your classmates. Once you become a member of the real business world and become busy with work, you will no longer be able to enjoy this. Learning is naturally a student's duty, and the existence of smartphones should not crush that. Learning is the main purpose of classes, and the presence of smartphones should not override that. Using a smartphone during class is like wasting 99% of the class. Students must not do such things. This is because student days are precious. Students will not be allowed to use smartphones at school, even during recess. Recess time for students is a valuable opportunity to talk and play with friends. This will help you understand each other and create deep memories during special occasions. This is extremely important. Once you become a member of real business world and get busy with work, you can no longer enjoy this feeling and it becomes a memory of the past. Especially if the school you attend is a coeducational school, there are important things to do during recess. It is the act of searching for a romantic partner. Break time is a privilege given to many students. The man becomes friends with the opposite sex and eventually seduces the woman. As a result, love grows more and more. Young people these days lack the desire to fall in love compared to young people of the past, perhaps due to the diversification of entertainment. In the past, students lived their student lives thinking about love and the opposite sex all the time. Nowadays, with the spread of smartphones and the ability to connect to the Internet at any time, there are fewer and fewer young people and students like this, which is truly regrettable. This reduces the desire to get married and have children. This accelerates the declining birthrate and aging population. we must know this. Attending a co-ed school is an advantage in love. Once you enter the workforce, there are few opportunities to get together with people of the same age, and there are fewer encounters that lead to marriage, leading to late marriage or non-marriage. Students should be aware of this in order to achieve early marriage and have 3 or more children.

自然な表現

I don't think smartphones should be brought into school. School is a place to learn and a place where you can enjoy spending time with your classmates. Once you become a member of the real business world and become busy with work, you will no longer be able to enjoy this. Learning is naturally a student's duty, and the existence of smartphones should not crush that. Learning is the main purpose of classes, and the presence of smartphones should not override that. Using a smartphone during class is like wasting 99% of the class. Students must not do such things. This is because student days are precious. Students should not be allowed to use smartphones at school, even during recess.
Recess time for students is a valuable opportunity to talk and play with friends. This will help you understand each other and create deep memories during special occasions. This is extremely important. Once you become a member of the real business world and get busy with work, you can no longer enjoy this feeling and it becomes a memory of the past. Especially if the school you attend is a coeducational school, there are important things to do during recess. It is the act of searching for a romantic partner. Break time is a privilege given to many students. A man becomes friends with the opposite sex and eventually seduces a woman. As a result, love grows more and more. Young people these days lack the desire to fall in love compared to young people of the past, perhaps due to the diversification of entertainment. In the past, students lived their student lives thinking about love and the opposite sex all the time.
Nowadays, with the spread of smartphones and the ability to connect to the Internet at any time, there are fewer and fewer young people and students like this, which is truly regrettable. This reduces the desire to get married and have children. This accelerates the declining birthrate and aging population. We must know this. Attending a co-ed school is an advantage in love. Once you enter the workforce, there are few opportunities to get together with people of the same age, and there are fewer encounters that lead to marriage, leading to late marriage or no marriage. Students should be aware of this in order to achieve early marriage and have 3 or more children.

1. To avoid using "School is a place" twice in a row, we could use the conjunction "and" to connect the two sentences into one and avoid repetition.
2. The context suggests you're talking about what should be done here, so we could use the verb "should". "Should" is used to say or ask what is the correct or best thing to do.
3. We use the definite article "the" in front of a noun when we believe the listener/reader knows exactly which specific noun we are referring to. You're referring to a specific noun, specific 'world', so we need the definite article 'the' here.
4. We use the definite article 'the' in front of a noun or a noun phrase when we believe the listener/reader knows exactly what noun or noun phrase we are referring to. The noun "man" was mentioned for the first time, and the text doesn't specify which particular "man" you're referring to, so the article 'the' is not required here. We need "a".
5. The noun "woman" was mentioned for the first time, and the text doesn't specify which particular "woman" you're referring to, so the article 'the' is not required here. We need "a".
6. We should capitalize the first word of the sentence.
7. "non-marriage" is not usually used in this context. We could use "no marriage" (the absence of marriage).

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