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kamoshidaさんのレッスン
Please write an essay that needs to be corrected.

I think people in modern society are losing their moral values.
I think that moral values of the people on the Internet are especially getting worse.
In these days,there are calumnies toward a specific person and writing of a lie on the Internet.
These are terrible things, and calumnies are likely that the person dies because of calumnies.
That's why I think people in modern society are losing their moral values.

自然な表現

I think people in modern society are losing their moral values. Specifically, the moral values of people on the internet seem to be deteriorating. 
It's disheartening to witness the spread of false accusations and lies about individuals online. 
These actions are deeply troubling, and they can even have severe consequences on the lives of those targeted. 
That's why I think people in modern society are losing their moral values.

1, 2 and 3. Rephrased for clarity and accuracy.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this matter through this essay. Do you think social media and modern technology could be the reasons why this is happening?

Yes, I do.
Because,social media allow us to post our opinions and thinking on the Internet.
Not exposed our face, we can post more freely everything.
I think it causes calumnies and so on.

自然な表現

Yes, I do.
Social media allows us to post our opinions and thoughts freely on the Internet without revealing our faces.
However, this anonymity can sometimes lead to issues like spreading false accusations and other harmful behavior.

1. It is grammatically incorrect to start a sentence with a conjunction.
2. Correct the subject-verb agreement.
3. This is a more fitting word choice for this context.
4 and 5. Rephrased for clarity and accuracy.
In your opinion, what steps do you think can be taken to address this issue and help people maintain their moral values in the age of the Internet?

I think that introducing the law punishing people who did a calumny is better to address this issue and help people maintain their moral values in the age of the Internet.
However,the law has already been passed.
So I think it should be enhanced.

自然な表現

I think that introducing stricter laws to punish those who engage in calumn would be beneficial in addressing this issue and promoting moral values in the digital age. 
However,    it is worth noting that such laws already exist.
Thus, I think they should be enhanced and strengthened. 

1 and 4. Rephrased for clarity and accuracy.
2. Punctuation marks are followed by a single space.
3. It is grammatically incorrect to start a sentence with a conjunction.
Do you believe that not only stricter enforcement of existing laws but also more comprehensive education and awareness campaigns could play a role in promoting ethical behavior online?

 Yes, I do.
I have no idea about it.
But I think comprehensive education is more effective than the enforcement of existing laws.
Because many children can understand about calumnies through the education at school.
So wider age group is able to learn about it.

自然な表現

Yes, I do.
I have no idea about it, but I think comprehensive education is more effective than the enforcement of existing laws.
When schools educate children about calumnies, it helps them understand the consequences and prevents such behavior. 
Thus, a wider age group is able to learn about it.

1 and 3. It is grammatically incorrect to start a sentence with a conjunction.
2. Rephrased for clarity and accuracy.
4. Use an indefinite article - when talking about singular unspecific things.
Do you think integrating comprehensive education about ethical conduct online into school curriculums could effectively tackle this issue, considering its potential impact on a broader age range compared to legal enforcement?

Yes, I do .
Even elementary school students use SNS on the Internet in today's era.
So I think integrating comprehensive education about ethical conduct online into school curriculums is good for such as children.
I hope the society becomes more tolerant in the future.

自然な表現

Yes, I do.
Even elementary school students use SNS on the Internet in today's era.
Therefore, I think integrating comprehensive education about ethical conduct online into school curriculums is good for such    children.
I hope    society becomes more tolerant in the future.

1. Punctuation marks directly follow the words before them.
2. It is grammatically incorrect to start a sentence with a conjunction.
3. The article is incorrectly used here since the noun is a general term.

関連単語

  • expression （表現）
  • touch up （修正）
  • proofreading（校正、訂正）
  • grammar（文法）
  • preposition （前置詞）

関連フレーズ

  • What would be the best expression to use for this occasion?（このような場合、どのような表現が最適でしょうか？）
  • I would like you to especially check that document that I have attached.（特に、添付した資料を確認していただきたい。）
  • Would you tell me what thesaurus I should use for　〜 Would you tell me what phrases I could use at my work to sound more professional when speaking to clients?（仕事で、顧客とよりプロフェッショナルに話すようにするため、どのような言い回し表現を使えば良いでしょうか。）
  • What would be a more natural expression for sentence number one?（最初の文をより自然な表現で書くとどのようになりますか？）
  • Please tell me what I should pay close attention to when I write an essay.（小論文を書くときに注意すべきことを教えてください。）

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