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Mayさんのレッスン
Please write an essay that needs to be corrected.

North Korean leader Kim Jong Un met Russian President Vladimir Putin at a space facility about 125 miles from Blagoveshchensk in Russia's far east, expressing a smile from ear to ear as much as he did when he met Donald Trump. Kim traveled there by his legacy slow-moving train. They then had dinner filled with quality protein: duck salad, crab dumplings, fish soup, sturgeon with mushrooms, and berry dessert. I'm not going to mention political matters in this writing. In the following paragraph, I'll explain his train journey, which is the Kim dynasty's favorite means of transportation.

自然な表現

North Korean leader Kim Jong Un met Russian President Vladimir Putin at a space facility about 125 miles from Blagoveshchensk in Russia's far east, expressing a smile from ear to ear as much as he did when he met Donald Trump. Kim traveled there by his legacy slow-moving train. They then had dinner filled with quality protein: duck salad, crab dumplings, fish soup, sturgeon with mushrooms, and berry dessert. I'm not going to mention political matters in this writing. In the following paragraph, I'll explain his train journey, which is the Kim dynasty's favorite means of transportation.

1. Great job. 'Preferred' is another possibility.
Since you mentioned Kim Jong Un's favorite means of transportation is a train, are there any unique aspects of his train travel that you find intriguing or noteworthy?

Kim left Pyongyang on Sunday afternoon and got on his bulletproof train. Kim's train is an armed fortress with a karaoke room, satellite communication, and an emergency medical facility. So too is his car towed. So is a helicopter brought along in case Kim has to eject. It takes around an hour from Pyongyang to Vladivostok by plane, but Kim chose the train. The trip by train plays a role in portraying the Kim family as mysterious. The current leader's grandfather often transported abroad by train. The current leader's father was scared of flying and preferred train travel.

自然な表現

Kim left Pyongyang on Sunday afternoon and got on his bulletproof train. Kim's train is an armed fortress with a karaoke room, satellite communication, and an emergency medical facility. So too is his car towed, and a helicopter brought along in case Kim has to eject. It takes around an hour from Pyongyang to Vladivostok by plane, but Kim chose the train. The trip by train plays a role in portraying the Kim family as mysterious. The current leader's grandfather often traveled abroad by train. The current leader's father was scared of flying and preferred train travel.

1. Join these two sentences for better expression.
2. This is a more common way of saying what you intended.
How does the international community react to Kim's train journeys? Is there speculation or curiosity about the purpose or content of these trips?

One of the purposes of his trip is to enhance its space technology with Russia's support. Russian media revealed Putin's remark that he intends to help North Korea build satellites. North Korea's satellite has yet to reach enough level for reconnaissance from space and failed the launch of a military spy satellite. Yet, it pledged to try again in fall. Kim and Putin see the sights in cosmodrome facilities, including the assembly facility of the launch rockets.

自然な表現

One of the purposes of his trip is to enhance its space technology with Russia's support. Russian media revealed Putin's remark that he intends to help North Korea build satellites. North Korea's satellite has yet to reach enough level for reconnaissance from space and failed the launch of a military spy satellite. Yet, it pledged to try again in the fall. Kim and Putin see the sights in cosmodrome facilities, including the assembly facility of the launch rockets.

1. The is used to refer to specific or particular nouns.
  • expression (表現)
  • touch up (修正)
  • proofreading(校正、訂正)
  • grammar(文法)
  • preposition (前置詞)
  • What would be the best expression to use for this occasion?(このような場合、どのような表現が最適でしょうか?)
  • I would like you to especially check that document that I have attached.(特に、添付した資料を確認していただきたい。)
  • Would you tell me what thesaurus I should use for 〜 Would you tell me what phrases I could use at my work to sound more professional when speaking to clients?(仕事で、顧客とよりプロフェッショナルに話すようにするため、どのような言い回し表現を使えば良いでしょうか。)
  • What would be a more natural expression for sentence number one?(最初の文をより自然な表現で書くとどのようになりますか?)
  • Please tell me what I should pay close attention to when I write an essay.(小論文を書くときに注意すべきことを教えてください。)

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