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プレゼンテーションで数式を用いた説明をしてみよう

Explaining numerical formula
あなたは、プレゼンテーションで数式を使い説明をしています。
プレゼンテーションで数式を使って、わかりやすく説明してみましょう。
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Best Teacherで実際に行われている直近のWritingレッスンです。
作成したスクリプトは講師により添削されます。
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Have you watched this place? It is really famous for this beautiful view. It is Mont-Saint-Michel. I'd like to introduce about this today.

 It is located in the north-west in France. It takes 4 hours From Paris. It has been declared a World Heritage site, not only the abbey, but including the bay. Although it is popular among tourists, the origin is the abbey, so the atmosphere is grave in there.
In 708, Mont-Saint-Michel was started the history with building a chapel.

自然な表現

Have you seen this place? It is really famous for this beautiful view. It is Mont-Saint-Michel. I'd like to explain about this today.

 It is located in the north-west in France. It takes 4 hours from Paris. It has been declared a World Heritage Site, not only the abbey, but including the bay. Although it is popular among tourists, the origin is the abbey, so the atmosphere is solemn in there.
In 708, Mont-Saint-Michel's history started with the building of a chapel.

1. WATCH refers to something that MOVES.
2. INTRODUCE refers to a PERSON.
3. No capital letter required. It is not a proper noun.
4. You need capital letters for the first letter of the important words in a title, official name etc.
5. GRAVE means VERY SERIOUS in a NEGATIVE way.
6. You need the possessive noun, then explain what belongs to iy.
7. We use ‘the’ when there is only one of something or when we are referring to a particular thing. (E.g. “I looked at the Moon. I used the Internet. The report was difficult to read on the small screen.”)
8. We refer to the construction OF something.
Mont-Saint-Michel sounds like a richly historical area that has graced northwestern France for centuries. Please, tell me more about it.

According to a legend, a bishop named Aubert had a dream that an angel, Michael said to him "Build a church on the rocky islet." In 966, an abbey was added, then in 13 centuries, the figure was almost same with the current one.
However, Mon-Saint-Michel has not necessarily played the role of abbey. It used for a fort against England. There are still some guns remained there.
In the French Revolution, Mont-Saint-Michel used for prisons.
As the history that I introduced, Mont-Saint-Michel had fallen into ruin for years.

自然な表現

According to a legend, a bishop named Aubert had a dream that an angel, Michael said to him "Build a church on the rocky islet." In 966, an abbey was added, then in the 13th century, the structure was almost same with the current one.
However, Mon-Saint-Michel has not necessarily played the role of an abbey. It was used as a fort against England. There are still some guns remaining there.
In the French Revolution, Mont-Saint-Michel was used as a prison.
After that, Mont-Saint-Michel fell into ruin for years.

1. You need to explain the PERIOD when this happened.
2. FIGURE refers to a PERSON.
3, 9. You must use an article (or a word like ‘my’, ‘his’ etc) before a singular countable noun.
4, 7, 12. Past tense required.
5, 8. Things are used AS things.
6. Adjective required.
10. It was one place.
11. You just need AFTER THAT to refer to what happened following the Revolution.
It shows from what you are saying that Mont-Saint-Michel truly deserves the status of being declared a UNESCO World Heritage Site.
Clearly, there's more to it. Do tell us more.

However, Victor Hugo, who wrote Les Miserables, The Hunchback of Notre Dame, introduced Mont-Saint-Michel. It triggered that Napoleon 3rd set about restoring it.
In 19 centuries, the road that connected the island with the mainland was built. Before that, in fact, it wasn't possible to go back and forth between them at high tide. It made Mont-Saint-Michel famous tourist side in the western part in France.
Before I reperched it, what I all knew was that this building was something related with Catholic.

自然な表現

However, Victor Hugo, who wrote Les Miserables, and The Hunchback of Notre Dame, used Mont-Saint-Michel. It triggered    Napoleon 3rd to set about restoring it.
In the 19th century, the road that connected the island with the mainland was built. Before that, in fact, it wasn't possible to go back and forth between them at high tide. It made Mont-Saint-Michel a famous tourist side in the western part in France.
Before I researched it,    I all knew was that this building was something related to Catholics.

1. AND needed before the last item in your list.
2, 5, 6. See above.
3. THAT is not needed here. It is not a relative clause.
4. TO required before the verb infinitive.
7. Spelling istake.
8. WHAT is not needed here.
9. Things are related TO other things.
10. Plural for this general point.
Les Miserables is an astounding work of literary art! So are the modern adaptations as well. It has ties to Catholicism and literature as well.

Yes. In the Les Miserable, the main character mended his ways from what the priest has dedicated him. During the time, many people suffered from serious poor, or others were on the verge of starvation. Many people thought that this challenge was what God gave them. They barely lived leaning on the teachings of Catholicism. That is what the religion is for now too.

(I did know Mont-Saint-Michel played fort at one moment, it played a prison at other times. Mont-Saint-Michel was at the mercy of the times but it still remines beautifully as it is. )

自然な表現

Yes. In    Les Miserables, the main character mended his ways from what the priest has dedicated to him. During the time, many people suffered from serious poverty, or others were on the verge of starvation. Many people thought that this challenge was what God gave them. They barely lived, leaning on the teachings of Catholicism. That is what the religion is for now too.

(I did know Mont-Saint-Michel played the role of a fort at one moment, and it played a prison at other times. Mont-Saint-Michel was at the mercy of the times but it still remains beautiful as it is. )

1. THE is not usually needed before a NAME.
2. Spelling mistake.
3. Things are dedicated TO other people.
4. POOR is usually an adjective or adverb. You need the noun here.
5. Comma required before this additional point.
6. You need to explain what the verb PLAY refers to.
7. AND required before the additional comment.
8. Spelling mistake.
9. BEAUTIFULLY is an adverb. You need the adjective here.
It's amazing how Mont-Saint-Michel has stood the test of time to remain standing to this day as both a historical and cultural monument. Thank you for introducing it to us.
You may go ahead and tell us more. I know everyone here would like to hear some more.

Yes, many heritages has been broken due to wars or natural disasters. It is amazing to even be there. The remained heritages tell us something; we need to conserve them.
Sometimes, we do not feel studying. However, as directing your interests to buildings, heritages or literatures, what you feel could be something changed.

(If you had an opportunity to visit France, I'd recommend vising there.
 I hope that you would be interested in the heritage even just a little bit from my presentation.)

自然な表現

Yes, a lot of heritage has been destroyed due to wars or natural disasters. It is amazing to even be there. The remaining heritage tells us something; we need to conserve it.
Sometimes, we do not feel like studying. However, by directing your interests to buildings, heritage or literature, what you feel could be    changed.

(If you had an opportunity to visit France, I'd recommend vising there.
 I hope that you would be interested in the heritage even just a little bit from my presentation.)

1, 4, 5, 6, 9, 10. Not countable.
2. BROKEN refers to something which does not work.
3. See above.
7. FEEL requires a modal verb before the noun.
8. BY is needed here to refer to the METHOD.
11. No noun is needed here before the past participle adjective.
  • potential(ポテンシャル、潜在力、将来性)
  • statistics(統計データ)
  • testimonial(証拠、証拠となる)
  • show(示す)
  • increase(増加する)
  • This proposal will open the door to more opportunities in the near future.(この提案は近い将来、より多くの機会への扉を開きます。)
  • Time is of the essence since other companies are also making their move.(他の企業も動いているので、時期が勝負です。)
  • The numbers dramatically decreased in 2005.(数値は2005年に急激に落ち込みました。)
  • On the other hand, not everyone agreed.(一方で、すべての人が賛成したわけではありません。)
  • In conclusion, climate change poses a real threat to humanity.(結論として、気候変動は人類にとって真の脅威となります。)

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