Original

社員食堂で昼食を注文してみよう

Buying lunch at a company's cafeteria
会社のカフェテリアで昼食を注文しているところです。
仕事がすごく忙しくても、あなたの脳や身体は栄養と休息が必要です。会社のカフェテリアで過ごす30分が午後の仕事で役に立つでしょう。
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What would you like to order?
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Best Teacherで実際に行われている直近のWritingレッスンです。
作成したスクリプトは講師により添削されます。
What would you like to order?

I'll have "Lunch B", a hamburger plate with a vegetable soup please.

自然な表現

I'll have Lunch B, a hamburger plate with vegetable soup, please.

1. You don't have to put proper nouns inside quotation marks.
2. It seems there's a dish called "hot hamburger plate." However, I've never heard of a dish called "hamburger plate." Still, it depends on where you are and what they call dishes. It's better to ask someone from the area you are staying at. Here, you could just say "... Lunch B, hamburger with vegetable soup, please."
3. "Soup" is a mass noun, so there shouldn't be an article before it. Always place a comma before "please" when it's at the end of the sentence.
Here you are. Anything else for you? What would you like to drink? There is a lot of orange and apple juice here as you can see.

Oh, it looks good. I'll take an orange. I need some vitamin C to keep me healthy from the daily stress.

自然な表現

Oh, it looks good. I'll take a glass of orange juice, please. I need some vitamin C to keep me healthy from the daily stress.

1. Words referring to food are mass nouns, so you don't use articles with them. However, you can say "a glass of orange juice" instead. Also, put "juice" as "orange" can be confused with the fruit itself.
2. Add "please" here to be polite.
No problem. I'll add an orange to your order. We offer employees discounts, but you have to sign up to the lunch club before you qualify. Would you like to sign up for the lunch discount card?

Sure, why not. Thank you for a valuable information. I'm new here and still learning how things work at this company. Can you tell me where I can sign up for the lunch club? I want to qualify as soon as possible.

自然な表現

Sure, why not? Thank you for that valuable information. I'm new here and still learning how things work at this company. Could you tell me where I can sign up for the lunch club? I want to join as soon as possible.

1. This is a question, so use a question mark instead of a period.
2. Use "the" or "that" because you're referring to something that has already been mentioned.
3. When asking favors, use "could" instead of "can." "Can" assumes that the person can and is willing to do what you are asking, while "could" simply assumes that there is a possibility that the person is willing to do it.
4. "Qualify" makes it sound like there's a rigorous process involved in choosing the members of the club. Just use "join" here.
Just sign that form over there. I'm glad you like the program. What kind of vegetables do you want in your soup? Please tell us if you have any allergies.

I'm not allergic to any food. I love all kinds of vegetables, so I'd be happy if you can pour more ingredients to my soup. I'll sign off the form before I go to the cashier. Thank you, again.

自然な表現

I'm not allergic to any food. I love all kinds of vegetables, so I'd be happy if you can put more vegetables to my soup. I'll sign up on the form before I go to the cashier. Thank you again.

1. "Pour" is usually associated with liquids, so use "put" here instead.
2. "Ingredients" is very vague. It can refer to anything--meat, condiments, vegetables. Be specific here.
3. "Sign off" means concluding something, or signing off something to indicate that you're leaving and done with work for the day. Use "sign up" instead.
4. You do not need to put a comma before "again."
Okay, perfect. Well here is your food, I hope you enjoy your lunch. Is there anything else you would like to have?

I'm all good. Thank you for helping me get familiar with the cafeteria. It made me feel at home after feeling so nervous at my new work. It was nice to get to know you. See you tomorrow.

自然な表現

I'm all good. Thank you for helping me get familiar with the cafeteria. It made me feel at home after feeling so nervous at my new workplace. It was nice to get to know you. See you tomorrow.

1. When saying "at work," we usually mean that someone is physically at his or her workplace. "At work" has become a common phrase, so it's understandable. However, "work" doesn't work the same way when it's modified by "new." We use "workplace" instead for phrases that aren't exactly "at work."
  • gluten(グルテン)
  • discount(割引)
  • special(特別な)
  • ingredient(栄養、成分)
  • spicy(辛い、香ばしい)
  • rare(珍しい、〔肉などが〕レアの、生焼けの)
  • unsalted(無塩の)
  • unseasoned(薬味を入れてない、調味していない)
  • flavor(味)
  • bland(味が薄い)
  • spicy chili(辛い)
  • unflavored tea(天然茶)
  • Is this cereal gluten-free?(このシリアルはグルテンフリーですか?)
  • What are the ingredients of this stew?(このシチューはどんな材料が使われていますか?)
  • Do you have any unsalted peanuts?(無塩ピーナッツはありますか?)
  • This soup has a wonderful flavor.(このスープの味がとてもいいです。)
  • What's your "special of the day"?(本日のスペシャルメニューは何ですか?)
  • Can I get an employee discount?(職員割引は使えますか?)
  • This soup is rather bland.(このスープはどちらかというとあっさりしている。)
  • I'd like to try the vegetarian chili.((メニューからオーダーする時)ピリ辛野菜をお願します。)

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