レッスン詳細

英語日記を添削してもらおう

Let's write a diary
英文の日記を添削してもらいましょう。
会話の添削だけではなく、英語日記の添削もしてほしい生徒様にぴったりのレッスンです。
Please write your original diary.
 
このレッスンを始める
Writingレッスンの例
Best Teacherで実際に行われている直近のWritingレッスンです。
作成したスクリプトは講師により添削されます。
Please write your original diary.

This is my failure story that pointing out mistakes and feedback is not same, and it's fine line. Last year, I gave lots of feedback to members through team chat. "You should do that. Why you don't do this? Is the current situation enough?" like this.
But, members didn't receive them as feedback. It was received as pointing out. This is example case, but we'd like to know how to give feedback to members with keeping motivation and good impression.

自然な表現

This is my failure story that shows that pointing out mistakes and giving feedback are not the same, and there's a fine line between them. Last year, I gave lots of feedback to members through team chat. "You should do that. Why you don't do this? Is the current situation enough?" and things like that.
However, members didn't receive them as feedback. They were received as pointing out. This is an example case, but we'd like to know how to give feedback to members while keeping motivation and giving a good impression.

1. You need to explain the result of the story here.
2. A different verb is needed before this noun.
3. Refers to more than one.
4. We use ‘the’ when there is only one of something, or we are referring to a particular thing.
5. 'There'+ 'be' explain the existence of something.
6, 12, 15. An article is needed before a singular countable noun.
7. We refer to a line 'between' things.
8. You need to say what this refers to.
9. Refers to what you said before.
10. 'But' is conjunctive, and not recommended to start a new sentence.
11. Refers to more than none.
13. Refers to what happens at the same time.
14. We 'give' an impression.
Thank you for sharing. It’s a great reflection on how feedback can sometimes be misinterpreted, especially if the tone or approach isn’t clear. Have you considered having one-on-one talks with each one of them? Please continue writing if there are additional.

I had 1on1 talk with them, and I basically discuss the expectation at that time. What I pointed out in team chat was the things member all need to understand, so I sent feedback in teams chat, not individual chat.

自然な表現

I have a one-on-one talk with them, and I basically discuss the expectation at that time. What I pointed out in team chat was the things members all need to understand, so I sent feedback in the team's chat, not individual chat.

1. We use the present simple tense for something that is generally true or permanent, habits and facts. 
2. An article is needed before a singular countable noun.
3, 4. We usually write the numbers zero through nine as full words, and all numbers after nine numerically. Hyphens are needed to make a compound here.
5. Refers to more than one.
6. We use ‘the’ when there is only one of something, or we are referring to a particular thing.
7. Possessive.
It’s great that you're ensuring everyone is on the same page. Were there any reactions or concerns from the team after the feedback was shared in the chat?

Actually, they feld negative impression against me. From that, I paied care for team communication, and I'm thinking what kind of bahavior should I do.

自然な表現

Actually, they held a negative impression against me. From that, I paid more attention to team communication, and I'm thinking about what kind of bahavior    I should adopt.

1, 3. Spelling correction.
2. An article is needed before a singular countable noun.
4. We pay 'attention to' something.
5. We think 'about' something.
6, 7. Not a question.
8. 'Do' does not collocate with this noun.
What specific steps have you taken to improve team communication since then, and what kind of behavior are you aiming to adopt moving forward?

I held feedback meeting. The theme is What should I start, continue and stop?
They asked me to give individual feedback, even if it affected the team, in a one-on-one meeting.
The reason I used Facebook in team chat was for the purpose of sharing as well.
I pay care the tone or expression when I send the message in chat, because the letter might give misconception.

自然な表現

I held a feedback meeting. The theme was "What should I start, continue and stop?"
  
They asked me to give individual feedback, even if it affected the team, in a one-on-one meeting.    The reason I used Facebook in team chat was for the purpose of sharing as well.    I will pay more attention to the tone or expression when I send a message in chat, because the words might give rise to misconceptions.

1. An article is needed before a singular countable noun.
2. Refers to the past.
3, 4. Quotations are needed to make the title clear.
5, 6. Keep your sentences together in clear paragraphs to improve readability, rather than starting each one on a new line.
7. Refers to the future.
8. We pay 'attention to' something.
9. We use ‘the’ when there is only one of something, or we are referring to a particular thing.
10. Refers to words.
11. Things 'give rise' to consequences.
12. Refers to more than one.
Now that you've established that individual feedback is preferred, and you're being more mindful of your tone in written communication, what strategies are you using during those one-on-one meetings to ensure the feedback is received positively and leads to actual improvement?

I try to tell expected behavior for them, and provide feedback. In case background is unclear, receiver have tendency to get confusing.

自然な表現

I try to explain expected behavior to them, and provide feedback. In case the background is unclear, the receiver has a tendency to get confused.

1. 'Tell' is not clear enough here.
2. We explain something 'to' someone.
3, 4. We use ‘the’ when there is only one of something, or we are referring to a particular thing.
5. Normally in the present tense we add 's' to the end of third-person verbs (‘he’, ‘she’, ‘it’).
6. An article is needed before a singular countable noun.
7. Refers to the other person, not the situation.

関連単語

  • consciousness（（名）意識（があること）、感情）
  • enlightenment（（名）啓発、啓蒙、悟り）
  • spiritual（（名）霊的なこと　（形）精神的な、霊的な）
  • purposeful（（形）目的がある、意図した）
  • philosophical（（形）哲学の、理性的な）
  • theological（（形）神学の［に関する・的な］、聖書に基づく）
  • fulfillment（（名）満足感、充足感）
  • significance（（名）意味、重要性）
  • existence（（名）存在、生存）
  • reality（（名）現実性）
  • keep a diary（日記をつける）

関連フレーズ

  • I'm happy and rich and have a beautiful family, but I don't feel fulfilled.（私は幸せでお金持ちで、美しい家族がいますが、充実感はありません。）
  • I found the answer to this question this morning when I looked into my infant son's eyes.（私は今朝、乳児の息子の目を見て、この質問の答えを見つけました。）
  • Don't you sometimes wonder what our purpose here on earth is?（一体私たちの存在目的は何なのかと時々思いませんか。）
  • What is life all about in the overall scheme of things?（人生は全般的な物事の構造の中で一体何を意味するのだろう。）
  • It is agonizing to even consider the possibility that nothing in this world has any meaning.（この世界の何も意味を持たないという可能性を考えるだけで苦しいものだ。）
  • Why was I born at this particular time and at this particular place?（なぜ私はこの時代のこの場所に生まれたのかしら。）
  • Does my life make any difference at all in this world?（私の人生はこの世界で何の影響があるっていうの？）
  • What is life all about?（人生にはいったいどんな意味があるの。）
  • Sometimes I wonder why I bother to get out of bed everyday.（なぜわざわざ毎日ベッドから出なきゃいけないのかと時々疑問に思う。）
  • To answer your question, all you have to do is look up at the night sky.（その答えは、夜空を見上げればいいのです。）
  • I've been writing a diary in English for ten months now.（私は10ヶ月間英語で日記を書いています。）

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