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We went to the Osaka Expo this week.
It was a wonderful exhibition.
We went to the health care exhibition at first.
Because is close from the gate.
Many people gathered to the Expo. They tried to enter to watch exhibition as more as they can. The exhibition was very crowdy.
The exhibition was the most convenient place for us to enter.
We watched the future's medical by IPS technology.
We went into America exhibition next, and other near pavilions.
Because we culdn'd reserve any other exhibitions.
We went to the Osaka Expo this week.
It was a wonderful exhibition.
We visited the healthcare exhibition first because it was close to the gate.
Many people gathered at the Expo. They tried to enter to watch as many exhibitions as they could. The exhibition was very crowded.
It was the most convenient place for us to enter.
We watched future medical technology using IPS technology.
Next, we went to the American exhibition and other nearby pavilions because we couldn’t reserve any other exhibitions.
We watched the some results of IPS technology. One of them was cardiomyocyte sheet. These sheets are composed of heart muscle cells derived from induced pluripotent stem (iPS) cells and are used in regenerative medicine for treating heart disease.
This IPS technology will be used to the other medical treatments. For example,
Parkinson's disease , Alzheimer's disease, and eye diseases.
We were very suprised with the Japanese medical level.
We watched some of the results of IPS technology. One of them was the cardiomyocyte sheet. These sheets are composed of heart muscle cells derived from induced pluripotent stem (iPS) cells and are used in regenerative medicine for treating heart disease.
This IPS technology will be used in _ other medical treatments, such as Parkinson's disease, Alzheimer's disease, and eye diseases.
We were very surprised by the level of Japanese medical technology.
2. Added "the" because it refers to a specific type of medical result already introduced.
3. The correct preposition is "in" for medical treatments.
4. Removed "the" before "other" because we are not referring to specific treatments already mentioned.
5. Corrected spelling error.
6. More natural phrasing in English. "Surprised by" is the correct collocation, and "level of Japanese medical technology" is a clearer and more accurate expression.
I had some good impressions to the French pavilions.
French pavilion showed their original art from historical one. They are an advanced thinking art. I found the faith connected between European shrine and Japanese shrine.
They are the different religions. However, they have some common points each other.
They are the prayer place for many people visit and worship their God.
They have garden or forest in each place to surround them.
The have many festivals and services at each place.
French pavilion let us know such ideas.
I had some good impressions of the French pavilions.
The French pavilion displayed their original art, including historical pieces. Their art reflected advanced and thoughtful ideas. I noticed a connection in the faith expressed at European shrines and Japanese shrines.
They are _ different religions; however, they share some common points.
Both are places of prayer where many people visit and worship their god.
Each has a garden or forest surrounding the sacred space.
They also hold many festivals and services.
The French pavilion helped us understand these ideas.
2. Added "The" to indicate a specific pavilion.
3. "Displayed" is more formal and appropriate in the context of an exhibition.
4. Reworded for clarity and correct grammar. The phrase "from historical one" is ungrammatical.
5. Original sentence was grammatically incorrect and unclear. "They" doesn't match "art," and "an advanced thinking art" is unnatural.
6. More natural English phrasing and grammar.
7 & 8. Changed to plural to generalize the observation.
9. Removed "the" (not used before "different religions").
10. "Each other" is not used this way. Correct phrasing is "share some common points."
11. Changed to natural phrasing.
12. Added "where" to form a relative clause.
13. Lowercase "god" is used unless referring to a specific deity by name (like God in Christianity).
14. Added article "a."
15. Rewritten for clarity and smoother phrasing.
16. Typo corrected.
17. Sentence streamlined and made parallel to previous sentences.
18. Added "The" to refer to a specific pavilion.
19. Improved grammar and natural expression.
I was impressed with the IPS cell-derived myocardial sheets at the PASONA NATUREVERSE pavilion. It is a revolutionary technology designed to restore heart function.
This technology will give us well-being health care.
And I was impressed with the large ring roof of the Expo.
This structure will have many effects to the Exo. One is Environmental Impact. The structure is primarily made of sustainably sourced wood, including Japanese cedar and cypress, reducing its carbon footprint. The other one is to provide shade and shelter, making the Expo more comfortable for attendees, especially during hot or rainy weather.
I was impressed by the iPS cell-derived myocardial sheets at the PASONA NATUREVERSE pavilion. It is a revolutionary technology designed to restore heart function.
This technology will contribute to improved healthcare and overall well-being.
_ I was also impressed by the large ring-shaped roof of the Expo.
This structure will have several effects on the Expo. One is its environmental impact: the structure is primarily made of sustainably sourced wood, including Japanese cedar and cypress, which helps reduce its carbon footprint. Another is its ability to provide shade and shelter, making the Expo more comfortable for attendees, especially during hot or rainy weather.
2. The standard spelling is "iPS" (induced pluripotent stem), with a lowercase "i".
3. Rephrased for more natural and professional English.
4. Starting a sentence with "And" is acceptable in informal writing but unnecessary here.
5. Again, "impressed by" is the correct phrase.
6. More natural and descriptive expression.
7. "Several" is more natural than "many" in this context.
8. "Effects on" is correct; "effects to" is incorrect.
9. Corrected spelling of "Exo" to "Expo."
10. Lowercased and added possessive pronoun for proper sentence structure.
11. Improved clarity and structure. Keeps parallel form with the previous sentence starting "One is..."
Of course, we are talking about going to the Osaka Expo again. It is because we have watched under 10 % of the whole exhibition. My daughter has disability benefits, and we know we can enter the almost pavilion soon with these benefits through the priority entrance.
We want to know more about foreign countries and the future society. We knew we had hope for the future from our last experience at the Expo.
Of course, we are talking about going to the Osaka Expo again. This is because we have seen less than 10% of the entire exhibition. My daughter receives disability benefits, and we know that with these benefits, we can enter most pavilions quickly through the priority entrance.
We want to learn more about foreign countries and the future of society. From our last experience at the Expo, we felt a sense of hope for the future.
2. Use “seen” for attending or viewing an exhibition. "Watched" is typically used for performances or videos.
3. "Less than" is the standard expression with percentages.
4. No space is needed between the number and the percent sign in standard formatting.
5. "Entire" is more formal and natural in this context.
6. "Receives" is more appropriate when referring to official support or aid.
7. "Almost pavilion" is ungrammatical. The intended meaning is "most pavilions."
8. "Quickly" is a clearer and more natural adverb than "soon" in this case.
9. “Learn” fits better in this educational or exploratory context.
10. A more natural and grammatically correct phrase.
11. This structure improves clarity and tone.
12. Reworded for natural phrasing and clarity. "Knew we had hope" is awkward and redundant.
関連単語
- manage to do~（なんとか~する）
- listen to~（~を聞く）
- to some degree（ある程度は）
- a little bit（ちょっとだけ）
- a pronunciation lesson（発音の授業）
- a speaking lesson（会話の授業）
- keep a diary（日記をつける）
関連フレーズ
- I have been listening to the news in English on BBC for three months.（3ヶ月前からBBCの英語のニュースを聞いています。）
- I can speak English to some degree if I speak slowly.（ゆっくり話せば、ある程度の英語は話せます。）
- I have been studying English for almost 6 years.（6年間英語を勉強しています。）
- People can't continue doing something for a long period without relaxing and having fun.（人は何かをするときには、リラックスしたり楽しんだりしないと、長く続けることはできません。）
- I started studying English again last October.（私は10月からまた英語の勉強を始めました。）
- I've been taking online lessons for more than nine months.（私は9ヶ月以上オンラインでの授業を受けています。）
- I've been writing a diary in English for ten months now.（私は10ヶ月間英語で日記を書いています。）
こんな方にオススメ
2. Healthcare is usually one word as a compound noun.
3. "At first" is not incorrect but "first" is more natural here.
4. Added the subject "it" and the verb "was" to form a complete sentence.
5. Corrected preposition from "from" to "to."
6. "Gather at" is correct; "gather to" is incorrect.
7. "As more as" is ungrammatical; correct form is "as many as." Also, added "exhibitions" after "watch" for clarity.
8. Changed "can" to "could" for past tense consistency.
9. Correct adjective is "crowded."
10. Changed "The exhibition" to "It" (referring to the healthcare exhibition).
11. "The future's medical" is awkward; changed to "future medical technology."
12. Added "using" for clarity.
13. correct adjective form
14. adjective modifying "pavilions"
15. Made it part of the previous sentence for grammatical correctness (no sentence fragment).
16. Spelling.