Original

夢中になっていることについて話してみよう

Having an interest in something
あなたは、夢中になっていることについて話してます。
夢中になっていること、興味を持っていることについて話す機会は多くあると思います。休み時間、仕事後、自分の趣味などを話し周りの人と話すことによって、さらにいい関係を作っていきましょう。
Icon
What are you excited about?
Icon
 
このレッスンを始める
Writingレッスンの例
Best Teacherで実際に行われている直近のWritingレッスンです。
作成したスクリプトは講師により添削されます。
What are you excited about?

I'm excited about learning religions. Islam is one of the universal religions as Christianity and Buddism. It was started by Muhammed who is the prophet of Allah. People who follow Islam called Muslims. Allah as an absolute God for them hence it is a monotheistic faith. The koran is their holy bible, and a mosque is a place for prayers.

自然な表現

I'm excited to learn about religions. Islam is a popular religion, the same as Christianity and Buddism. It was started by Muhammed who is the prophet of Allah. People who follow Islam are called Muslims. Allah is an absolute God for them, hence it is a monotheistic faith. The Koran is their Holy Bible, and a mosque is a place where they pray.

1. We used the word "about" in the next part of the sentence, so you shouldn't use it twice here.
2. You can't use "learn" directly with "religions" - you can learn ABOUT a religion.
3. There's no such thing as a universal religion - that would be a religion that everyone in the world follows. Instead, you should use the word "popular".
4. You shouldn't use just "as" here - you should use "same" to emphasize similarity.
5. You need to add the verb "be" in the present tense to complete the Simple Present tense.
6. Spelling mistake
7. Both versions are fine, this version is just a bit more natural.
That is really interesting! I love learning about religions too, but I never have the time to start. What else can you tell me about Islam?

It's founded in the Arabian peninsula in the first half of the 7th century. The person from Mecca named Muhammed received a divine revelation in a cave where is in a Hiller mountain on the outskirts of Mecca. All Muslims hold rituals that are a confession of faith, five mecca-services a day, go on the fasting month called Ramadan, charity, and go on a pilgrimage to Mecca. They obligate observance of the law by the koran.

自然な表現

It was founded in the Arabian peninsula in the first half of the 7th century. A person from Mecca named Muhammed received a divine revelation in a cave located in Hiller mountain in the outskirts of Mecca. All Muslims hold rituals, such as a confession of faith, five mecca services a day, have a fasting month called Ramadan, donating to charity, and going on a pilgrimage to Mecca. They follow the laws of the Koran.

1. You are talking about a completed action in the past, so you should use the Simple Past tense.
2. This is the first time you mentioned this person, so you should use an indefinite article here.
3. You can't use the word "where" here - you should use "located" instead. "Located" means situated in a particular place.
4. This is the proper preposition with the word "outskirts".
5. It's a bit more natural to use "such as" - it means "for example".
6. This isn't a compound adjective, so you shouldn't spell it with a hyphen.
7. Your sentence would be fine if you used a gerund (will be explained why in the next line) and an indefinite article and said "going on a fasting month", but this version is a bit more natural.
8./9. When listing activities, in your case, ritual-related activities, we usually use a gerund.
10. This version is simpler and more natural.
Would you please shed some more light on the teaching of the Koran? What is the basic ideology it reached people?

I don't know.

自然な表現

I'm not sure I can explain.

1. Both versions are fine, this is just another version of your sentence.
  • quality time(充実した時間)
  • intriguing(興味深い)
  • a good chance to~(~する良い見込み)
  • hobby(趣味)
  • entertainment(エンターテインメント、楽しみ、演芸、ショー)
  • be stunned by 〜(〜に仰天する)
  • never seen anything like it(そのようなものを一度も見たことがない)
  • be motivated by 〜(〜により、モチベーションがある)
  • have to deal with an unprecedented case(事例のないことに対応しなければいけない)
  • be devoted to〜(〜に専念する)

こんな方にオススメ

  • 日常
  • 中級
  • その他
  • シーンリクエスト
  • 雑談する