Original

ビジネスメールを書こう

Let's exchange emails about business
会話の添削だけではなく、Eメールの添削もしてほしい生徒様にぴったりのレッスンです。
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Please write a business email that needs to be corrected.
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このレッスンを始める
Writingレッスンの例
Best Teacherで実際に行われている直近のWritingレッスンです。
作成したスクリプトは講師により添削されます。
Please write a business email that needs to be corrected.

Dear Mr.Neymar
Thank you for your inquiry about our company.
My name is Hanako Suzuki, Ms., I am writing this e-mail on behalf of our project manager Mr. Matsuda of ABC company.
As attached are our company profile and office project experiences, you can find our company had extensive experience in Project Management and Cost Management for foreign companies' retail store's relocation and transition projects as well as shopping mall projects.
We are very interested in the project you have summarized.
Kindly please provide us:
1. Project summaries
2. Project team organization (the client, designer, etc.)
To be continued.

自然な表現

Dear Mr. Neymar,
Thank you for your inquiry about our company.
My name is Hanako Suzuki, Ms.   I am writing this e-mail on behalf of our project manager Mr. Matsuda of ABC company.
As attached are our company profile and office project experiences. You can find our company has extensive experience in Project Management and Cost Management for foreign companies' retail store relocation and transition projects as well as shopping mall projects.
We are very interested in the project you have summarized.
Kindly please provide us with the following:
1. Project summaries
2. Project team organization (the client, designer, etc.)
To be continued.

1. Space is needed here.
2. A comma is required in this case.
3. The comma is not needed here.
4. This is a good place to end a sentence and start a new one.
5. The present tense should be used here, considering the meaning of the sentence.
7. This part of your response was confusing, so I changed it to be clearer, more concise, and more natural.
Thank you for introducing the topic of the script. Please continue and write the next part of your e-mail.

3. Master program from project inception through completion
4. Scope of services you have expected to us.
Before the above information, we will be able to submit NDA.
Looking forward to hearing from you soon.
Kind regards,
Suzuki

自然な表現

3. Master program from project inception through completion
4. Scope of services you have expected from us.
Before the above information, we will be able to submit NDA.
Looking forward to hearing from you soon.
Kind regards,
Suzuki

1. It's the correct preposition, considering the context.
You are doing a good job! Would you like to continue and write more e-mails for practice? It can be useful.

Dear Mr. NEYMAR
Thank you for your response. I'm collecting the project information you requested to assist your understanding of the project and client needs. I expect to have this information returned to you early next week. In the meantime, here is our NDA form for your review. Please provide Your company's legal name for inclusion on the NDA form and the email of the person who will sign the document.
Kind regards,
Suzuki

自然な表現

Dear Mr. Neymar,
Thank you for your response. I'm collecting the project information you requested to assist your understanding of the project and client needs. I expect to have this information returned to you early next week. In the meantime, here is our NDA form for your review. Please provide your company's legal name for inclusion on the NDA form and the email of the person who will sign the document.
Kind regards,
Suzuki

1. All capital letters are not needed. Also, a comma is needed here.
2. The capital letter is not needed since it's not a proper noun.
  • Dear ~(〜様)
  • sales(営業)
  • I have attached ~(〜を添付しました)
  • as follows(以下の通りです)
  • I would request ~(〜を依頼します)
  • Thank you in advance.(よろしくお願いします。)
  • Thank you for your interest.(ご興味をお持ちいただきありがとうございます。)
  • Thank you for your prompt reply.(早速のご回答ありがとうございました。)
  • It is a pleasure working with you.(あなたと一緒に仕事が出来て嬉しいです。)
  • I am looking forward to working with you.(あなたと働くのを楽しみにしています。)

こんな方にオススメ

  • ビジネス
  • 初級
  • Eメール添削
  • 内定者研修
  • 新入社員研修