Original

ビジネスメールを書こう

Let's exchange email about business
会話の添削だけではなく、Eメールの添削もしてほしい生徒様にぴったりのレッスンです。
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Please write a business email that needs to be corrected.
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このレッスンを始める
Writingレッスンの例
Best Teacherで実際に行われている直近のWritingレッスンです。
作成したスクリプトは講師により添削されます。
Please write a business email that needs to be corrected.

I'm going to write a thanks email for the hotel manager because I got very polite mail for my canceling request. This email is a little long. So please return the reply to me soon if you get it. I'll send the next text.
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Thank you for your polite reply.
I and my family were very looking forward to staying at the Hilton hotel.
However, considering this situation next year, we decided to cancel our vacation. It's a very sad decision for us.

自然な表現

I'm going to write a gratitude email for the hotel manager because I got a very polite email for my canceling request. This email is a little long. Therefore please reply to me soon if you get it. I'll send the next text.
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Thank you for your polite reply.
Me and my family were really looking forward to staying at the Hilton hotel.
However, considering this situation, we decided to cancel our vacation for next year. It's a very sad decision for us.

1. You were missing this article here. The indefinite article (a) is used before a noun that is general or when its identity is not known.
2. Remember you can't start new sentences with a conjunction, so make use of this adverb.
3. This phrase here was redundant. Your sentence was correct without it.
4. This is the appropriate pronoun to use here when referring to yourself.
5. This is a better word choice to help express your idea more clearly.
6. This is the appropriate word order to use in this case to express your idea.
Dear xxx

It is with much sadness that we receive your message. However, we understand that you have your reasons to cancel your reservation.
What situation are you referring to? Either way, we look forward to hosting you in the near future.

Thank you,
Mr Yamada
Manager
Hilton hotel

Continuation of last time
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When we visited your hotel last year, we were delighted with the service from your staff. My son says that he wants to go to Guam and stay at your hotel every day.
We are so worried about the condition of COVID-19 in Guam.
I hope for you and staff, your family's safety and happiness.
We will be sure to book your hotel if this situation becomes well.
We are looking forward to seeing you again!
----
This is the end of my email.

自然な表現

Continuation of last time
----
When we visited your hotel last year, we were delighted with the service from your staff. My son says that he wants to go to Guam and stay at your hotel every day.
We are so worried about the condition of COVID-19 in Guam.
I wish you, your staff, and your family safety and happiness.
We will be sure to book your hotel if this situated gets well.
We are looking forward to seeing you again!
----
This is the end of my email.

1. Your original sentence was unclear. Reconstruct it to express your idea more clearly.
You have decent formal communication skills. I hope you did not incur costs due to the cancellation of the trip.

Dear xxx

This is to inform you that your reservation has been canceled. We wish you the best if health

Thank you,
Mr Yamada
Manager
Hilton hotel

Thank you for accepting my request.
I'm very impressed with the message from the hotel manager. I've never gotten a message like this, even in Japanese. So I want to reply to it and tell my thanks to them.
I think their economic situation is very tough because Guam island is very small and the major industry is tourism.

自然な表現

Thank you for accepting my request.
I'm very impressed with the message from the hotel manager. I've never gotten a message like this, even in Japanese. So I want to reply to it and express my gratitude to them.
I think their economic situation is very tough because Guam island is very small and the major industry is tourism.

1. This is a more appropriate phrase to help express your idea more clearly.
It was my pleasure. It is amazing that some people value customer care to the extend of being polite in emails, right?

That's so true. We book a hotel online these days. I can also manage the schedule or plan it. If I canceled it, I get the template email from the booking system. That's all.
Considering that, sending an email from a manager account to the customer might be effective customer care.

自然な表現

That's so true. We book a hotel online these days. I can also manage the schedule or plan it. If I cancel it, I get the template email from the booking system. That's all.
Considering that, sending an email from a manager account to the customer might be effective customer care.

1. Change your verb form here to fix the subject-verb agreement here.
In my opinion, this manager has exhibited a tremendous duty of care towards his clients and his organization.

It means the situation is a serious problem. We need to consider balancing both keeping economic and preventing the pandemic.
I'll try to think about what I can do for them now.

自然な表現

It means the situation is a serious problem. We need to consider balancing both keeping the economy and preventing the pandemic.
I'll try to think about what I can do for them now.

1. Make use of the noun form of this word here to express your idea clearly. You made use of the adjective form of this word.
  • I would request ~(〜を依頼します)
  • as follows(以下の通りです)
  • I have attached ~(〜を添付しました)
  • sales(営業)
  • Dear ~(〜様)
  • I am looking forward to working with you.(あなたと働くのを楽しみにしています。)
  • It is a pleasure working with you.(あなたと一緒に仕事が出来て嬉しいです。)
  • Thank you for your prompt reply.(素早い返信をありがとうございます。)
  • Thank you for your interest.(ご興味をもって下さり、ありがとうございます。)
  • Thank you in advance.(よろしくお願いします。)

こんな方にオススメ

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