Original

グラフの説明をしてみよう

Explaining a graph.
あなたはプレゼンテーションでグラフの説明をしています。
グラフについて分かりやすく説明しましょう。グラフにあるデータだけではなく、そこから読み取れる考察を伝えられるといいかもしれません。
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How do I read this graph?
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作成したスクリプトは講師により添削されます。
How do I read this graph?

This bar shows sales history for the past 5 years. As you can see the bars, sales are continuously increasing. The line chart shows the profit per sales. As you can see the lines, the profit had increased until 2 years ago, however, it has decreased from the last year. This is because our cost of labor has increased from the last year at an overseas factory and the surplus asset of the factory has affected the profit as well. To make our company more profitable, we need to restructure the cost structure drastically. I will consider the plan.

自然な表現

This bar shows the sales history for the past 5 years The bars show a continuous increase in sales. The line chart shows the profit per sales. The lines show that the profit had increased in the past 2 years, however, it then decreased last year. This is because our labor cost has increased from the last year at an overseas factory and the surplus asset of the factory has affected the profit as well. To make our company more profitable, we need to restructure the cost structure drastically. I will consider the plan.

1and3. Your original sentence was unnatural. Make use of this phrase to give a more natural expression.
2. I assume this is what you intended to say. Your original sentence was very unclear.
It was a nice presentation, I totally understood your points. However, the figures in your graph don't match with these reports. Could you take a look?

Let me see. Yes, you are correct. The profit figures do not match the report. The report you see is the first version, after the first version is issued, the report was revised later. The figure on the graph matches those of the revised one. Do you understand?

自然な表現

Let me see. Yes, you are correct. The profit figures do not match the report. The report you see is the first version. The report was revised later after the first version was issued. The figure on the graph matches those of the revised one. Do you understand?

1. Change the structure of this sentence here to give a more coherent and compatible expression.
Oh, okay! That explains the confusion. Do you have a copy of the 2nd version with you? May I have a look? All right, everything seems perfect so far. Going back to the increase in labor cost, what are your action plans about it?

Yes, here is the 2nd version of the report. As for decreasing labor costs, my current plan is to reduce full-time employees in the country. It is tough for us, but to realize this, we need to negotiate with the labor union first. I need to explain to them the current company's financial position so that they can accept it. Also, we are going to support their job change sincerely. I'll do my best.

自然な表現

Yes, here is the second version of the report. As for the decreasing labor costs, my current plan is to reduce full-time employees in the country. It is tough for us, but to organize this, we need to negotiate with the labor union first. I need to explain to them the current company's financial position so that they can accept it. Also, we are going to support their job change sincerely. I'll do my best.

1. This is a proper way of expressing the position of the version.
2. You were missing this article here. The definite article ( "the" ) is used before a noun to define it as something specific( e.g., something previously mentioned or known, something unique, or something being identified by the speaker).
3. This is a better word choice to use here to clearly express your idea.
  • year by year(年々)
  • increase(増加する)
  • show(示す)
  • pie graph(円グラフ)
  • bar graph(棒グラフ)
  • Thank you for your careful listening.(注意深く聞いてくださり、ありがとうございました。)
  • The numbers dramatically decreased in 2005.(数値は2005年に急激に落ち込みました。)
  • This chart shows the results of the questionnaire for one-thousand students.(この図は1000人の学生に対して行ったアンケートの結果です。)
  • Everyone, please give your attention to this graph.(みなさん、こちらのグラフに注目してください。)
  • I would like to explain this bar graph.(こちらの棒グラフについて説明したいと思います。)

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