日本の経済に影響をあたえると思われる外国の動向について説明しよう。

Global Trends.
あなたは日本の経済に影響をあたえると思われる外国の動向について説明しています。
世界は常に変化をし続けており、各国の変化により日本も常に影響を受けています。どの国の変化が日本に大きな影響を与えるのか、考えてみましょう。
Which country's trends do you think will impact the Japanese economy?
 
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Which country's trends do you think will impact the Japanese economy?

I think that those are the United States, the center of the world economy .
Recently, the yield on US government bonds reached the highest level in the last 17 months, which has been caused by, and also strengthened concern about high inflation worldwide.
With the long-term interests rising, the price of US national bonds is also increasing despite the FRB’s statement of the upcoming tapering, leading to the US dollars becoming strong.
The weak yen contributes to Japan as an exporter. The US economic trend has a good effect on Japan unless the inflation rate continues to rise.

自然な表現

I think that those are in the United States, the center of the world's economy.
Recently, the yield on US government bonds reached the highest level in the last 17 months, which has been caused by, and also strengthened concern about, high inflation worldwide.
With the long-term interest rates rising, the price of US national bonds is also increasing despite the FRB’s statement of the upcoming tapering, leading to the US dollar becoming strong.
The weak yen contributes to Japan as an exporter. The US economic trend has a good effect on Japan unless the inflation rate continues to rise.

1. TRENDS are not a COUNTRY but can be seen IN one.
2. Possessive required.
3. No space before a period.
4. A second comma is needed after the additional information.
5. This refers to interest RATES specifically.
6. Not countable in this usage.
That makes sense under normal circumstances. However, the ongoing unprecedented shipping crisis has considerably disrupted export worldwide. What do you think about it in this context?

Supply constraints such as the shipping crisis probably don't matter much because 3 main reasons for that seem to be going to disappear.
The stagnation of the shipping mainly results from labor shortage and strengthening quarantine at a port.
However, the effect of vaccinations are now spreading worldwide, leading the above 2 issues to be resolved.
The other reason is the shortage of containers, 98% of which is made by China. It was caused by the trade friction between the US and China in 2019, however, has been almost resolved. In fact, after June 2021, marine transport has been skyrocketing.

自然な表現

Supply constraints such as the shipping crisis probably don't matter much because three main reasons for that seem to be going to disappear.
The stagnation of    shipping mainly results from labor shortage and strengthening quarantine at    ports.
However, the effect of vaccinations are now spreading worldwide, leading the above two issues being resolved.
The other reason is the shortage of containers, 98% of which are made in China. It was caused by the trade friction between the US and China in 2019; however, it has been almost resolved. In fact, since June 2021, marine transport has been skyrocketing.

1, 5. We usually write the numbers zero through nine as full words and all numbers after nine numerically from ten through one million.
2. We use ‘the’ when there is only one of something or when we are referring to a particular thing. (E.g. “I looked at the Moon. I used the Internet. The report was difficult to read on the small screen.”)
3, 4. Plural for this general point.
6. We use the present simple tense for something that is generally true or permanent, habits and facts. We use the present continuous for something that is happening now or around the time of speaking, or that is temporary.
7. ARE with the plural.
8. BY refers to the name of a company or person.
9. You can use a semicolon before the conjunctive adverb to join these sentences together.
10. You need a pronoun here before the verb to explain what it refers to in the second clause.
11. SINCE is needed here to connect the past with the present.
I appreciate your optimism but, unfortunately, the shipping rates have also been skyrocketing. There is an ongoing and unparalleled soaring of prices. This will undoubtedly considerably affect demand worldwide.

Certainly, my opinion may be optimistic, but we need to consider the Japanese exceptional circumstances where Japan has been under prolonged deflation for 20 years, continuing even amid supply constraints caused by the Covid-19 pandemic.
The deflation has led Japanese companies to such a mindset as not easily passing the burden on to consumers so as to less experience a downturn in consumption.
They are now trying to absorb the increased manufacturing costs by lowering profit margins, leading to some company's debt increasing.
Therefore, the government and other related organizations need to make the concerted efforts of supporting coronavirus-hit businesses.

自然な表現

Certainly, my opinion may be optimistic, but we need to consider the Japanese exceptional circumstances where Japan has been under prolonged deflation for 20 years, continuing even amid supply constraints caused by the Covid-19 pandemic.
The deflation has led Japanese companies to such a mindset as not easily passing the burden on to consumers so as to experience less of a downturn in consumption.
They are now trying to absorb the increased manufacturing costs by lowering profit margins, leading to some companies' debt increasing.
Therefore, the government and other related organizations need to make the concerted efforts of supporting coronavirus-hit businesses.

1. EXPERIENCE is needed after TO.
2. Plural possessive required.
Okay, that must be a tough situation. If such trends continue, do you think there could be a recession in the future?

With production declining and the unemployment rate increasing, we could say Japan is already under a recession amid prolonged deflation.
The world often assesses Japan as a country which doesn’t raise wages, and companies tend to compensate for the shortage of labor with that from overseas, leading to consumers’ low consumption.
In fact, a Japanese personnel company was reported that it started to connect Japanese firms with foreign IT talent, enabling them to work remotely through the Internet.
In light of this, a weak yen might be favorable to the labor market due to suppressing the influx of foreign labor.

自然な表現

With production declining and the unemployment rate increasing, we could say Japan is already under a recession amid prolonged deflation.
The world often assesses Japan as a country which doesn’t raise wages, and companies tend to compensate for the shortage of labor with that from overseas, leading to consumers’ low consumption.
In fact, a Japanese personnel company    reported that it had started to connect Japanese firms with foreign IT talent, enabling them to work remotely through the Internet.
In light of this, a weak yen might be favorable to the labor market due to suppressing the influx of foreign labor.

1. Passive voice not required.
2. Past perfect tense required here.
That is surely something to think about in regards to the economic growth of Japan. What are your hopes for the future?

The power of the younger generation is hope for Japan’s future. For example, on Twitter, my followers are learning various things including English hard every day. I can see many promising talents on Twitter.
I hope to create an environment which enables people to study to their heart content. Establishing online educational system is the case in point.
Unfortunately, Japan is lagging behind other countries in this field, however, the Covid-19 pandemic should be utilized as a chance to make structural reform.
Science and technology should be contributing to all people's growth, resulting in getting the world to be better.

自然な表現

The power of the younger generation is hope for Japan’s future. For example, on Twitter, my followers are learning various things including English hard every day. I can see many promising talents on Twitter.
I hope to create an environment which enables people to study to their heart's content. Establishing online educational system is a case in point.
Unfortunately, Japan is lagging behind other countries in this field; however, the Covid-19 pandemic should be utilized as a chance to make structural reform.
Science and technology should be contributing to all people's growth, resulting in getting the world to be a better place.

1. This idiom uses the possessive noun here.
2. See 2. in #4 above.
3. See 9. in #4 above.
4, 5. We usually use BETTER PLACE when we refer to a location or area.
  • significance(重要性)
  • protectionism(保護貿易主義)
  • interdependent(相互依存)
  • crisis(危機)
  • compete(競争する)
  • In the new, globalized world of closely interdependent economies, a local crisis can affect almost every part of the world.(グローバル化した新しい世界では、経済が密接に相互依存しているため、地域の危機は世界のほぼすべての地域に影響を及ぼす可能性があります。)
  • Japanese companies will face stiff competition from Chinese companies, foreign companies located in China, and trade protection.(日本企業は、中国企業や中国に立地する外国企業との厳しい競争、貿易保護に直面することになるだろう。)
  • In the area of resources and energy, friction might arise between Japan and China as they compete to acquire these resources.(資源・エネルギーの分野では、日本と中国が資源の獲得を競い合うことで摩擦が生じる可能性がある。)
  • The major oil suppliers to Japan are Saudi Arabia and the United Arab Emirates.(日本への主要な石油供給国は、サウジアラビアとアラブ首長国連邦です。)
  • The current global financial crisis has served as an opportunity for the Chinese economy to increase its international significance.(今回の世界的な金融危機は、中国経済の国際的な存在感を高める契機となった。)

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