Original

日本経済の今後の見通しについての考えを述べよう

Future of the Japanese Economy.
あなたは日本経済の今後の見通しについての考えを述べています。
日本経済を考える上で、様々な角度から分析をすることが可能です。少子高齢化等の国内の諸問題からも考えたり、国外との関係性から見解を述べてもよいかもしれません。
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I would like to know your opinion concerning the Japanese economy.
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I would like to know your opinion concerning the Japanese economy.

I don't want it comes true, but I believe it will be shrinked at a fast speed. There are three reasons.
First point is the decrease in population in Japan. The economic activity is directly proportional to the population, so the decrease in population means the economic contraction.
Next point is a large amount of government debt. It might cause a hyper inflation and then the damage to the economic must be serious.
Final point is the geopolitical risk. If there would be a war between USA and North Korea, Japan couldn't ingnore it, we might take part in it.

自然な表現

I don't want it to come true, but I believe it will be shrunk at a fast speed. There are three reasons.
First point is the decrease in population in Japan. The economic activity is directly proportional to the population, so the decrease in population means the economic contraction.
Next point is a large amount of government debt. It might cause a hyper inflation and then the damage to the economic may be serious.
Final point is the geopolitical risk. If there would be a war between the USA and North Korea, Japan  might take part in it.

1. Modified for correct grammar- correct verb form is 'shrunk'
2. 'May be' shows 'possibility'
3. 'The' is used before 'U.S.A'
4. Removed the redundant part
Do you think these problems should be addressed by the Japanese government right away? What do you think should the government do?

Yes, I think so. The government did a lot of policies for Japanese to have more children, but there's no effect from them. Those policies support families with some benefit, but it seems that this problem is not only money but also less social help.
I heard that grandparents and neighbors helped young parents to care for their children in old times, but current families are isolated and it's a big burden on the parents. I'm not sure if the government can do everything, but we have to clarify what problems are and solve them one by one.

自然な表現

Yes, I think so. The government made a lot of policies for Japanese to have more children, but there's no effect of them. Those policies support families with some benefits, but it seems that this problem is not only money but also less social help.
I heard that grandparents and neighbors helped young parents to take care of their children in old times, but nowadays, families are isolated and it's a big burden on the parents. I'm not sure if the government can do everything, but we have to clarify what problems are there and solve them one by one.

1. In case of 'policy making' verb 'made' should be used.
2. Preposition 'of' should be used with 'effect'
3. With 'some' plural noun is to be used
4. 'To take care of' is correct expression
5. 'Nowadays' fits better in the context
6. Modified expression for clear meaning
I think the government just provided the policy; however, unfortunately, the Japanese people seemed to more focused with work than with having children. What do you think?

I agree with you. But it's the problem that they have to choose workbig or having children. The good social should be that we can focus with both things. It seems Japanese social system is not kind to working mother.

自然な表現

I agree with you. But it's a problem that they have to choose work a lot or have children. The best would be to focus on both things. It seems Japanese social system is not kind to working mothers.

1. Modified to make it natural- 'workbig' is no word. 'Have' is used keeping in mind 'to' which is coming before, in the sentence.
2. Simplified for clear mening
3. Plural noun should be used because it is applicable for all mothers.
Why did you say that? What did the Japanese social system do that made you say that it is not kind to working mothers?

Because it's difficult for children to go to the public nurseries. Not everyone can go there. It's a point system and it requires difficult things from mothers. For example, mothers have to work full-time. Some of them might quit their job before they give birth. Then, how can they find a new job without the nursery? Must they have job interviews with their baby?
And there is still maternity harassment in many Japanese companies, so the ladies are afraid of losing there position by having a child.

自然な表現

Because it's difficult for children to go to the public nurseries. Not everyone can go there. It's a point system and it requires difficult things from mothers. For example, mothers have to work full-time. Some of them might quit their job before they give birth. Then, how can they find a new job without the nursery? Must they have job interviews with their baby?
And there is still maternity harassment in many Japanese companies, so the ladies are afraid of losing their position after having a child.

1. Possessive adjective 'their' should be sued
2. 'After' should replace 'by' for clear meaning
I see. I do think that some of these things have to change. I also think some of them are based on old cultures, right? I mean, why be bias about women on maternity in companies? I do think it's unfair. Can you tell me about the point system for public nurseries?

Yes, I think the bias for women is based on the old customs. Old Japanese people thought that the child care was only women's job, so women shouldn't work outside of home. We must change this mind first.
Regarding the point system, we answer a lot of questions and add or subtract some points from 100 by what the answer is. After the calculation, the person who has the highest points gets the right of bringing her child to the nursery.

自然な表現

Yes, I think the bias for women is based on the old customs. Old Japanese people thought that the child care was only women's job, so women shouldn't work outside of home. We must change this mindset first.
Regarding the point system, we answer a lot of questions and add or subtract some points from 100 by what the answer is. After the calculation, the person who has the highest points gets the right of bringing her child to the nursery.

1. Corrected word which means 'thinking'
  • sustainability(持続性)
  • fiscal policy(財政政策)
  • budget deficits(財政赤字)
  • inflation rate(インフレ率)
  • monetary expansion(金融緩和)
  • These efforts may lead to a credible plan to reach fiscal sustainability(これらの努力は財政の持続可能性のための信頼出来る計画です。)
  • The tax increase is part of fiscal policy, it was established in order to reduce the budget deficit.(増税は財政政策の一部であり、財政赤字を削減するために設置された。)
  • The inflation rate has not reached the target rate of 2 percent and recently it has fallen a little bit, however at least the rate is away from zero.(インフレ率は目標の2%に達しておらず、最近少し現象したが、ゼロではない。 )
  • The first arrow, monetary expansion, has succeeded and Japan is now out of deflation, a condition which had lasted for more than 15 years.(最初の矢である金融緩和は成功し、日本は15年も続いたデフレから脱却した。)
  • It is too early to tell whether or not Abenomics is working.(アベノミクスが成功してるかを判断するにはまだ早い。)

こんな方にオススメ

  • ビジネス
  • 上級
  • 金融業界
  • リサーチ業務