Original

会社の退職金と年金の制度について説明しよう

Pension and Retirement.
あなたは会社の退職金と年金の制度について説明しています。
退職金や年金の制度は会社によって様々です。「前払い退職金」や「確定拠出型年金」等の制度を導入している会社もありますね。自社の制度に関わる英語表現を覚えておきましょう。
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I would like to learn about the company's retirement allowance and pension system.
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I would like to learn about the company's retirement allowance and pension system.

The Japanese pension system consists of public and private pension schemes. The distinction between public and private pensions depends on whether the insurer of pensions is the government or not. All residents in Japan between ages of 20 to 60 are eligible and required to become subscribers of the public basic pension. 90% of all Japanese firms offer retirement packages for their employees. A retirement package can be either a one-time lump-sum retirement allowance, or a life-long pension, or both.

自然な表現

The Japanese pension system consists of public and private pension schemes. The distinction between public and private pensions depends on whether the insurer of pensions is the government or not. All residents in Japan between the ages of 20 and 60 are eligible and required to become subscribers of the public basic pension. Ninety percent of all Japanese firms offer retirement packages for their employees. A retirement package can be either a one-time lump-sum retirement allowance, a life-long pension, or both.

1-"the" is used with age or ages. For example "I started driving at the age of 20."
2- when talking about "between" two numbers use "and" Use "to" when talking about "from" one number "to" another
3- Don't start a sentence with numerals. Write out the number at the beginning of a sentence
4- When listing more than two items don't use "or" or "and" until the last item on the list.
I see. How much do I have to contribute as payment to avail of the public pension?
What about the private pension system?

I depends on how much you earn from a job. Aggravated by rapid aging, low rate of growth, and near-zero interest rates, public pension insurance is facing a difficulty to secure enough funds to meet the future requirements of pension payments. There is currently a hot debate on how to restrain the payments in order not to put too much burden on the future generations.

自然な表現

It depends on how much you earn from your job. Aggravated by rapid aging, low rate of growth, and near-zero interest rates, public pension insurance is facing difficulty securing enough funds to meet the future requirements for pension payments. There is currently a hot debate on how to restrain the payments in order not to put too much burden on  future generations.

1- I should be It
2- "you" earn money from whose job? "your" job Use possessive pronoun "your" here
3- a is not needed here, difficulty is uncountable
4- another way of stating "to secure" "Securing" sounds like it is an ongoing process
5- "for" is used here because you need money "for" payments "of" is used in the opposite direction, payments "of" money
6- "the" is not needed because "generations" is plural
Oh I see.
In my country getting pension after retirement is becoming a great challenge due to economic crisis.

How can you survive without any pension benefit after retirement. No pension or retirement allowance mean that you have to keep working until you die. Anyway, each country has each different retirement package. We don't know which is better and which is worse, so I'm not sure whether or not the Japanese package is working well. I have no choice but to obey the rule established in the county where I live.

自然な表現

How can you survive without any pension benefit after retirement? No pension or retirement allowance means that you have to keep working until you die. Anyway, each country has  different retirement packages. We don't know which is better or worse, so I'm not sure whether or not the Japanese package is working well. I have no choice but to follow the rule established in the county where I live.

1- Need a question mark at the end of a question
2- "means" because the subject phrase is an "It" phrase
3- "each" is repeated in this sentence, second "each" is unnecessary
4- "packages" should be plural because you are talking about different packages
5- "or" is another way to say "and which is" if you don't want to repeat yourself
6- "obey" is a very strong word, "follow" is softer and more natural sounding
  • resign((自発的に)会社を辞める)
  • voluntary resignation(自己都合による退職)
  • pension system(年金制度)
  • retirement allowance(退職金)
  • assessment(評価)
  • Usually, the longer a person's career, the more retirement allowance they could gain.(基本的に長く働いて辞めた人のほうが金額が多くなります。)
  • As a general rule, a company must pay severance pay within one week from an employee's retirement.(会社は原則として労働者の退職から7日以内に退職金を払わなければなりません。)
  • People who could receive favorable ratings also receive more retirement allowance.(会社の評価が高い人は退職金額が多くなります。)
  • Generally, voluntary resignation will reduce their retirement allowance.(自己都合で辞めると退職金は減るのが一般的です。)
  • Not all companies pay their staff’s retirement allowance.(すべての会社で会社員に退職金があるわけではありません。)

こんな方にオススメ

  • ビジネス
  • 上級
  • 金融業界
  • 経理・財務業務