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作成したスクリプトは講師により添削されます。
We are a Christian family, and we went to the church on the last Sunday.
Usually, we are almost Japanese except for our pastor's family.
We had five guests at my church today.
There were three groups of missionaries.
Each group was from Kobe, Hukui, and Wawai.
We talked about our impressions from the Bible verses.
We had a very good time with them.
After that, my daughter helped to wash our plates and bowls for lanch dishes.
It was a little hard work, but she did it well!
We are a Christian family, and we went to church last Sunday. Usually, almost all the congregants are Japanese except for our pastor's family. We had five guests at our church today. There were three groups of missionaries. Each group was from Kobe, Hukui, and Wawai. We talked about our impressions of Bible verses. We had a very good time with them. After that, my daughter helped to wash the plates and bowls we used for lunch . It was a little hard work, but she did it well!
My favorite verse is Mark 14:37-38. This verse was told to the disciples by Jesus.
Jesus said: Couldn't you keep watch for one hour? Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.
I feel we need to pray for more than one hour from
this verse. We have to pray and watch God.
My favorite verse is Mark 14:37-38. In this verse, Jesus spoke to his disciples. Jesus said, "Couldn't you keep watch for one hour? Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak."
I feel we need to pray for more than one hour based on this verse. We have to pray and watch for God.
2. A comma is needed to indicate the start of a quote.
3 & 4. Added quotation marks to indicate that these are the words Jesus said.
5. This is a better way to phrase this part.
6. This preposition is needed to indicate that you are attentively waiting or looking out for God.
I was baptized when I was 23 years old.
At the university, I made up my mind once again and studied hard for graduate school. My friends made fun of me, I was bullied, I experienced setbacks, I began to question what I had built up, and I lost sight of my dreams and hopes for life.
However, I realized that Everything I had worked hard for until then was an effort for my success. And I knew that success and effort are empty without love. I decided to walk toward the love of God and was baptized.
I was baptized when I was 23 years old. At university, I made up my mind and studied hard for graduate school. My friends made fun of me, I was bullied, I experienced setbacks, I began to question what I had built up, and I lost sight of my dreams and hopes for life.
However, I realized that everything I had worked hard for until then was an effort for my success. I knew that success and effort are meaningless without love. I decided to walk toward the love of God and was baptized.
2. Removed these words as they are unnecessary.
3. You can also phrase it like this: "ridiculed me".
4. No need to capitalise the first letter since this is not a proper noun.
5. To avoid starting the sentence with the conjunction "and", it is removed.
6. This is a better word to mean that they have no meaning or value.
In the 45 years since my baptism, I have had many things happen to me, including getting a job, getting married, and having children.
Through several trials, God has given me the blessing to grow.
I have welcomed God into my heart and continue to walk the path without getting lost.
I used to not be able to love the people around me or even myself.
But I have learned to love my family, friends, and anyone who fits into my day, and I live happily.
In the 45 years since my baptism, I have had many things happen to me, including getting a job, getting married, and having children. Through several trials, God has given me the blessing to grow. I have welcomed God into my heart and continue to walk the path without getting lost.
I used to not be able to love the people around me or even myself. However, I have learned to love my family, friends, and anyone I meet in life, and I live happily.
My family is all Christian; however, my wife, son, and mother-in-law don't go to church now. They are busy with other things, taking care of their own mother, and working. We have prayer time when we need to pray. They believe in Jesus.
My whole family is Christian; however, my wife, son, and mother-in-law don't go to church now. They're busy with other things, like taking care of their own mothers and working. We have prayer time when we need to pray. They believe in Jesus.
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- click（クリックする）
- enter（入力する）
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こんな方にオススメ
2 & 10. Removed these words as they are unnecessary.
3. Better phrasing to refer to the people who attend the church and to indicate that the majority are Japanese.
4. This is a better possessive pronoun since you used the pronoun "we" here.
5. This is the correct preposition to indicate what the impressions are related to.
7. It is best to use the definite article here since these are specific plates and bowls.
8. Better phrasing to indicate that you used these plates and bowls for your lunch.
9. Corrected the spelling.
(NB: When writing a paragraph in general, it is best to write continuously instead of writing each sentence in a separate line).