Original

志望企業に志望動機を伝えてみよう

Talking about your goals at a job interview
外資企業の面接を受けています。あなたは志望動機について話しています。
あなたのプライベートと仕事の目標は、会社の目標と合致する範囲内であれば会社にとって興味深いものです。面接でのあなたの仕事は、目標が合致して、会社がつながりを見出すかを確かめることです。
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Why are you applying to this position?
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このレッスンを始める
Writingレッスンの例
Best Teacherで実際に行われている直近のWritingレッスンです。
作成したスクリプトは講師により添削されます。
Why are you applying to this position?

This is my dream job. That's why I applied to this position.I'm a huge fun of 007 movies since I was a child and my favorite author is John le Carre. I learned a lot from Espionage Techniques from movies and books. I have confidence that I can be a prominent intelligence officer.

自然な表現

This is my dream job. That's why I applied for this position. I'm a huge fan of 007 movies since I was a child and my favorite author is John le Carre. I learned a lot about espionage techniques from movies and books. I have confidence that I can be a prominent intelligence officer.

1. "to apply for (sth)" is the correct expression.
2. Spelling
3. "to learn about (sth)" is the correct expression.
4. This doesn't need to be capitalized as it's not a proper noun.
5. "an elite intelligence officer" or "an excellent intelligence officer" both make sense here.
Interesting. I am also a fan of James Bond movies.
What are some of your strengths and weaknesses?

I've just completed my online espionage courses. It includes wiretap, computer hacking and so on. The founder of the school is a former Australian intelligence officer, so that it was quite useful and practical. I have already submitted the certificate of completion with my resume.

自然な表現

I've just completed my online espionage courses. It includes wiretapping, computer hacking and so on. The founder of the school is a former Australian intelligence officer so it was quite useful and practical. I have already submitted the certificate of completion with my resume.

1. This is a good alternative here.
2. Omit the comma as it's the same train of thought and omit "that" as it's not necessary.
I see. Where are you currently working?
Can you tell me about some of the problems you have faced in your career so far?

I work for local bakery as a cashier. I enjoy working there because the bakery has been loved by local people for three decades. The most popular bread is a Yakisoba bread. People usually line up in front of the bakery before it will open. I love to see people's smile there.

自然な表現

I work for a local bakery as a cashier. I enjoy working there because the bakery has been loved by local people for three decades. The most popular bread is a Yakisoba bread. People usually line up in front of the bakery before it opens. I love to see people's smiles there.

1. "a" because "bakery" is singular.
2. Use the present tense as you're talking about something that happens all the time (daily).
3. "smiles" because there are many.
That is nice to hear. What kind of work do you do there?
What made you interested in applying for this position? Do you have any experience.

As a cashier, I should make sure to receive correct amount of money from costumers and return changes. We are not still accept ed credit card, so there is a huge responsibility. In the meantime, I have to put breads into a paper-bag with the bakery's logo. It was extremely busy in the morning. However I could manage it well. I've never forgot smiling to costumers. I believe that this experience is quite useful when I will work for undercover mission.

自然な表現

As a cashier, I should make sure to receive the correct amount of money from customers and return the correct change. We still don't accept credit cards, so there is a huge responsibility. In the meantime, I have to put bread into a paper-bag with the bakery's logo. It was extremely busy in the morning. However I could manage it well. I've never forgotten to smile to costumers. I believe that this experience is quite useful when I work in an undercover mission.

1. "the" because you're talking about a specific "amount", "the correct amount".
2. Spelling
3. "change" is uncountable in this context.
4. This is a more natural way to rephrase this.
5. "bread" is uncountable.
6. "forgotten" is the past participle of "forget".
7. "in" is perhaps a better alternative here. "an" because "mission" is singular.
That is totally different from the job your are applying for now. have you ever encountered a difficult customer? How did you handle him?

I have confidence to handle any costumers. As you know, Japanese staple food is rice, so that some of our costumers asked us to provide rice balls instead of breads. I made a lot of effort to convince them to be fun of our breads. To provide sample and suggest the way of eat them with seaweeds like the rice ball. It was success and it prove that I'm a highly persuasive. It must be useful when I interrogate a spy from a opponent agency.

自然な表現

I have confidence to handle any costumer. As you know, the staple food in Japan is rice, so some of our costumers asked us to provide rice balls instead of bread. I made a lot of effort to convince them to enjoy our bread.  I provided samples and suggested the way of eat them with seaweed like a rice ball. It was a success and it proved that I'm  highly persuasive. It must be useful when I interrogate a spy from a opponent agency.

1. "any customer" or "all customers" are both acceptable.
2. This word order makes more sense.
3. Omit "that" as it's not necessary.
4. "bread" is uncountable.
5. This is a more natural alternative.
6. This should be in the past tense because you're talking about finished actions.
7. "seaweed" is uncountable.
8. "a" because "success" is singular (countable).
9. Omit "a" because "persuasive" is an adjective.
  • ambition(野心、熱望)
  • intention(目的、意図)
  • objective(目的、目標)
  • envision(想像する、心に描く)
  • planning(計画している、考えている)
  • player(重要な役割の[影響力の大きい]人)
  • contribute(貢献する)
  • impact(影響(力))
  • participate(加わる、分かち合う)
  • influential((名)影響力のある人(形)有力な、勢力のある、誘因となる)
  • It has always been my ambition to be part of the leadership team of a company such as this.(御社のような会社でチームリーダーとして働くことは私の夢でした。)
  • I know I can contribute to the success of this company.(御社の成功に貢献できると思います。)
  • I want to be an influence in the future growth of this company.(今後の成長に影響を与える存在でありたいと思っています。)
  • I envision this company to be in the top echelon of business within the next 5 years.(私は今後5年以内に、この会社が業界のトップレベルになることを想定しています。)
  • I want to be a key player in the future growth of this company.(御社の成長のための中心的存在になりたいです。)
  • My work ethic and determination to succeed will help to propel this company forward.(成功するための私の労働倫理と決断力は、きっと御社の推進力となって役立つでしょう。)
  • I was the driving force of my previous company's success.(私は前会社での成功の立役者となっていました。)
  • I hope to expand this company by opening branch offices throughout the world.(世界中に支社をオープンしてこの会社を拡大するつもりです。)
  • I hope that my record and reputation as a team player will convince you that I am the right person.(私の業績と高い評価によって、チームのメンバーとして私がふさわしいということをあなたに証明できればと思います。)
  • My only goal is to make this company second to none.(私のただ唯一の目的は、この会社を一番にすることです。)

こんな方にオススメ

  • ビジネス
  • 中級
  • 英語面接
  • 自己PR