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Please write an essay that needs to be corrected.
 
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Best Teacherで実際に行われている直近のWritingレッスンです。
作成したスクリプトは講師により添削されます。
Please write an essay that needs to be corrected.

This year I was so busy that I couldn't see the Kakitsubata painting at Nezu Museum. It has become a regular practice to visit an art museum once a year during the season of fresh greenery. This flower blooms in the pond near Konintei, the tea room in the museum's garden. The best time to see them is around the end of April, and at the same time the museum will put on display the National Treasure Ogata Korin's ``Kakitsubatazubyobu.'' The garden is relatively large, and the beautiful blue flowers blooming among the fresh greenery create an elegant atmosphere.

自然な表現

This year, I was so busy that I couldn't see the Kakitsubata painting at Nezu Museum. It has become a regular practice to visit an art museum once a year during the season of fresh greenery. This flower blooms in the pond near Konintei, the tea room in the museum's garden. The best time to see them is around the end of April, and at the same time the museum will put on display the National Treasure Ogata Korin's ``Kakitsubatazubyobu.'' The garden is relatively large, and the beautiful blue flowers blooming among the fresh greenery create an elegant atmosphere.

1. When introducing a sentence or clause with an adverb, write a comma after it.
2. Alternative: my custom
Would you mind explaining why the painting is so special that you want to see it every year? What kept you so busy, is it work?

Kakitsubata was made famous by ``Yatsuhashi,'' the ninth chapter of The Tale of Ise, written in the Heian period. The main character feels that there is no place for him in the capital, and in search of a new world, he and his friends head to Edo, which was a rural area at the time. On the way, they took a break at Yatsuhashi, and when they saw a lot of kakitsubata blooming, one of them asked the protagonist for a waka poem. It expressed his love for his wife, who was far away, and those around him were impressed.

自然な表現

Kakitsubata was made famous by "Yatsuhashi,'' the ninth chapter of The Tale of Ise, written in the Heian period. The main character feels that there is no place for him in the capital, and in search of a new world, he and his friends head to Edo, which was a rural area at the time. On the way, they took a break at Yatsuhashi, and when they saw a lot of kakitsubata blooming, one of them asked the protagonist for a waka poem. It expressed his love for his wife, who was far away, and those around him were impressed.

1. Alternative: He had written a romantic poem for his wife who was far away, and that moved the people around him.
That's a beautiful tradition! The Kakitsubata painting holds a deep cultural significance. What other traditions or artworks do you enjoy experiencing annually?

The national treasure "Kakitsubata folding screen'' depicts a cluster of flowers in full bloom. It is reminiscent of a scene from "The Tales of Ise,'' and evokes a sense of admiration for dynastic culture. His paintings are dignified and gorgeous. The composition is carefully calculated, and the clusters of flowers are vividly depicted in shades of ultramarine and verdigris on an all-gold folding screen. It is arranged rhythmically, eliminating unnecessary things and calculating the contrast between the left and right sides. It appears that paper patterns were used in some parts, but the swell of the flower pigments is stunning.

自然な表現

The national treasure "Kakitsubata folding screen'' depicts a cluster of flowers in full bloom. It is reminiscent of a scene from "The Tales of Ise,'' and evokes a sense of admiration for dynastic culture. His paintings are dignified and gorgeous. The composition is carefully calculated, and the clusters of flowers are vividly depicted in shades of ultramarine and verdigris on an all-gold folding screen. It is arranged rhythmically, eliminating unnecessary things and calculating the contrast between the left and right sides. It appears that paper patterns were used in some parts, but the swell of the flower pigments is stunning.

1. Alternative: with the contrast between both sides carefully calculated.
The description of the "Kakitsubata folding screen" is truly captivating! Are there other artworks or cultural traditions that resonate deeply with you?

In fact, Korin has drawn another picture of Kakitsubata. Ten years after completing the work Nezu Museum, he created another folding screen with the same subject matter. It depicts a bridge and is now in Metropolitan Museum of Art. In fact, he also featured Kakitsubata in the design of makie and inkstone boxes. The mother-of-pearl inkstone box, which is a national treasure, is truly stunning. Stylized patterns other than flowers became a major trend during the Edo period, and are now used in a wide range of fields such as kimono patterns, textile design, and Japanese sweets and so on.

自然な表現

In fact, Korin has drawn another picture of Kakitsubata. Ten years after completing the work at Nezu Museum, he created another folding screen with the same subject matter. It depicts a bridge and is now in the Metropolitan Museum of Art. In fact, he also featured Kakitsubata in the design of makie and inkstone boxes. The mother-of-pearl inkstone box, which is a national treasure, is truly stunning. Stylized patterns other than flowers became a major trend during the Edo period, and are now used in a wide range of fields such as kimono patterns, textile design, and Japanese sweets, and so on.

1. Use this to indicate the location.
2. The Met is a known museum in the world, so use "the".
3. Write a comma before "and + (the last item on the list)".
The Kakitsubata painting seems to hold immense cultural value and beauty. Are there any other cultural artifacts or traditions you're fond of exploring annually?

Kakitsubata, which blooms along the waterside in early summer, is a plant that has been loved since ancient times and has a poem written about in the Manyoshu. The flowers I saw in the museum garden had a completely different flavor from the pictures and looked very cute. However, Korin flowers are truly majestic and graceful. That gap seemed strange to me. Flowers have different impressions depending on the person looking at them. I wonder how I'll feel if I see two kakitsubata next year. Actually, I would like to see three flowers at the same time.

自然な表現

Kakitsubata, which blooms along the waterside in early summer, is a plant that has been loved since ancient times and has a poem written about it in the Manyoshu. The flowers I saw in the museum garden had a completely different flavor from the pictures and looked very cute. However, Korin flowers are truly majestic and graceful. That gap seemed strange to me. Flowers have different impressions depending on the person looking at them. I wonder how I'll feel if I see two kakitsubata next year. Actually, I would like to see three flowers at the same time.

1. About what? Express it here.
  • expression (表現)
  • touch up (修正)
  • proofreading(校正、訂正)
  • grammar(文法)
  • preposition (前置詞)
  • What would be the best expression to use for this occasion?(このような場合、どのような表現が最適でしょうか?)
  • I would like you to especially check that document that I have attached.(特に、添付した資料を確認していただきたい。)
  • Would you tell me what thesaurus I should use for 〜 Would you tell me what phrases I could use at my work to sound more professional when speaking to clients?(仕事で、顧客とよりプロフェッショナルに話すようにするため、どのような言い回し表現を使えば良いでしょうか。)
  • What would be a more natural expression for sentence number one?(最初の文をより自然な表現で書くとどのようになりますか?)
  • Please tell me what I should pay close attention to when I write an essay.(小論文を書くときに注意すべきことを教えてください。)

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